I don’t look like this anymore

bbAt the doctor’s, following the physician assistant.

“How are you?” I hear her say.

I don’t answer, assuming she must be speaking to someone else, because why would you address a question to someone’s back? (Yes, I know, this sounds a little defensive.)

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says. “Can you hear me?”

ARGGH. She thinks I’m old, I think.

“Of course,” I say, a little defensively.

At the supermarket, watching a guy bag my groceries.

“Should I pack them light?” he says.

This time, since I save the plastic bags (bad, I know, not to bring my own bag) for scooping out cat litter and the bags are so thin they get holes sometimes just from a cereal box, I say yes.

“Do you need help out?”

ARGGH. No, why would you think that, I’m perfectly capable of …

“No, I’m fine thanks,” I manage to mutter.

In New York, people have started offering me their seat on the subway. At the movies, I automatically get the senior citizen discount; on the train, I’m no longer asked for proof.

I guess it’s about time I stop trying to match the way I feel inside to how I look and act on the outside.

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This entry was posted in Getting old, My so-called-life and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I don’t look like this anymore

  1. T. D. Davis says:

    Maybe just enjoy the deference? Best to you.

    • bobbie says:

      Just for getting old, I should be accorded automatic deference? I’d like to know I’d done something worthwhile to deserve it, other than sporting gray hair and wrinkles.

      • T. D. Davis says:

        You have done something: you’ve acquired more experience and presumably more wisdom than the people giving you deference. You’ve paid taxes for the schools in the communities you’ve lived in. Did you raise a family? If so, what have they contributed? Etc.
        Give yourself a break! 🙂

  2. curtislauber says:

    My perspective is quite different. I say flip ’em the bird, wordlessly. After a while you’ll take on the demeanor of someone who does stuff like that and people will fear the ancient you. (Of course, then, if you really need some help, you’ll be on your own.

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