More than you ever wanted to know about toilet paper

I once spent more money than is conscionable on a wrapper design study for ScotTissue. The conclusion? ScotTissue buyers didn’t like change.

Long before I became Scott’s brand manager, I was one of those loyal buyers; and, long before that, I was urging my mother to buy Scott Paper products because they advertised on Father Knows Best (she thought I was crazy).

I have the rather odd distinction of knowing more about toilet paper than most people. I used to entertain people at parties with various random facts: about the people who wad it up, while others carefully fold; about the media-created toilet paper shortage in the early 70s, which distorted all our market size studies for years; about how the early manufacturers determined the dimensions of a sheet based on the size of a man’s hand (which is very odd, since men use so much less than women – but when they need it, they really need it, I guess).

I also know that when your performance is based on your brand’s profits, you sometimes have to slip cost savings in and hope no one notices. But this –

this is egregious. I noticed. It’s not even the size of my hand anymore.

And so, dear current ScotTissue brand manager, whoever you are, you’ve lost me. I’m wadding up a different brand now.

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