Hetero-normative Thumbelina

Two young gay guys I know were talking about if they ever got married, what sort of wedding they’d want. One of them said, “No party.”

“What do you mean no party?” the other one said. “After I’ve spent so many years and so much money going to all my straight friends’ weddings, I’m having a party!”

“Okay, well no walking down the aisle then,” the first one said. “That’s so hetero-normative.”

I was thinking about this as I encountered Google today. Someone there is obsessed with Thumbelina, it seems, and for Hans Christian Andersen’s 205th birthday they have their most inventive logos yet – a series of five, illustrating the fairy tale. But you can’t get much more hetero-normative:

1. There was an old lady who really wanted a child, so a witch gave her a barley seed that grew into a flower and Thumbelina got born, somehow. (I never did understand what the spools of thread were all about, except maybe to show how tiny she was. I did love how she slept in a walnut shell, but they don’t show that here.)

2. A toad kidnapped Thumbelina because she wanted her to marry her son.

3. Thumbelina didn’t want to marry a boy-toad so she escaped and had a hard winter.

4. Then she met a mouse who wanted her to marry a mole, but she didn’t want to so she escaped on a swallow’s back.

5. Then a tiny handsome prince came along, she finally got married, and lived happily ever after.

I think the Google Doodle person must be hetero-normative.

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