God, shuffling his feet?

The magnets mysteriously failed, soldered connections came undone, a physicist found to be working with Al Quaeda was fired, and a bird that dropped a baguette caused a short circuit, but the Large Hadron Collider finally started up again this week.

This much I understand:

• The things we see: all the animate and inanimate objects on earth, all the stars and planets, represent only 4% of what is out there. Dark matter and dark energy, which we can’t see because they emit no light, make up the rest.

• Every particle has a twin (I love this part).

• These twin pairs have the same mass, but opposite charges, but somehow in the Big Bang they didn’t annihilate one another.

• There are 6 more dimensions, curled up in strings, that we can’t see (I also love this part).

• There’s a theoretical force field, filled with Boson particles, which somehow causes particles to gain mass as they move through it.

The Collider is trying to find all the dark stuff, the missing twins, the unseen dimensions, and the Boson particle – sometimes called the “God particle,” because it creates mass.

Some physicists have speculated that, if the God particle exists, God Himself tried screwing up the magnets and the connections and made the bird drop the baguette (and maybe He really is working with Al Quaeda). If You were God, I guess You’d have to do that, because if humans could recreate You You wouldn’t be God after all.

If they do find Him, though, it will be way too hard to understand what exactly He is. (Do you think that’s why He wrote the Bible?)

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2 Responses to God, shuffling his feet?

  1. Curtis says:

    Wow. That was good. Has anyone else commented that your writing is getting “lighter?”

  2. Pingback: Celebrating Time

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