The Worst Decade, Part 5: The Year 2004

It was the year we’d been waiting for, the year we’d finally get rid of the embarrassing buffoon we hadn’t really elected; the guy who walked with his hands stuck out to make himself look bigger; the guy who couldn’t think of any mistakes he’d made; the guy who said, during this year alone:

Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.

—Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

We will make sure our troops have all that is necessary to complete their missions. That’s why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental — supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel.

—Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004

Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.

—Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004

After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week — we will have an all-volunteer army!

—Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004

If you heard all this, and you were Karl Rove, what would you do? Put a little box on his back so he wouldn’t flub the debates? Make sure all the Ohio votes didn’t get counted?

Whatever conspiracy theory you believe or don’t believe, it worked. One third of the country voted for Kerry, one third plus a few hundred thousand more (supposedly) for Bush, and one-third were prevented from voting, or were too stupid or demoralized to vote.

But look. If Kerry had been elected, McCain would be our president now, because everything bad that happened in the next five years would have been the Democrats’ fault, including the way Homeland Security and the CIA and the NSA couldn’t seem to keep Christmas bombers off planes.

So let’s forget about November 3, 2004, the day of the depths of our despair. It’s the last night of this disastrous decade, and to celebrate we have not only the longest full moon of the year, but the second full moon of the month: a long-night blue moon.

This entry was posted in Celebrations, festivals, memorials, Politics and history and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s