My true-atheist friend asked me the other day if I thought I’d come around to declaring my own true atheism by the end of these musings.
Unless I have some sort of revelation, I’m pretty sure I’ll never believe in God in the unquestioning way of my childhood (though I’m unwilling to rule out what might happen to me in my own personal foxhole). I miss that belief, as I’ve said.
And maybe that’s why I am willing to rule out atheism. Firm non-belief closes a loophole that I may desperately need someday – be that loophole a god, or reincarnation, or space aliens, or ghosts, or something I haven’t thought of yet.
God, or “dead is dead.” I’m in between, on an uneasy tightrope.